Hi,
You're reading this because a friend, colleague, or spouse has asked you to be their "language parent" (or "English Parent", as the case may be). This person is learning English as an adult, and needs the right kind of support in order for their learning to be most effective.
You may find this concept hard to believe, but with the right input and right environment, an adult can learn a second language to competency in between 6 months and one year, even if they are starting from zero!
We're very confident in our claim about 6 months to one year, having achieved this ourselves. The key, of course, is to use the correct approach and the correct materials. To learn about the correct approach to learning a second language as an adult, you can explore the ideas in The Third Ear. It's available on Amazon.com, and you can visit The Third Ear website at: http://www.the-third-ear.com
A key element to successfully learning a second language is for the learner to have a Language Parent. A Language Parent is a person who plays the role of communication partner, while AVOIDING THE ROLE OF TEACHER. In the same way that a parent understands a child's speech, even though outsiders don't, a language parent works to understand what the learner is saying even though, at times, it is way "off beam".
And, the language parent communicates so the learner UNDERSTANDS what is being said, using whatever tools are available, from arms (body language) to pen and paper, to pictures. The goal is always to keep the learner engaged in meaningful and relevant conversation, which they can understand. By this, we mean they understand the communication, even if they don't "catch" all the words.
As a language parent, you should aim to do the following:
- Regularly engage your learner in meaningful conversation. This could be very basic things, including topics around daily living (going shopping, what to eat, etc). The conversation should happen because it needs to happen, not because you make it up for learning purposes. Remember, it's a real interaction about something real and meaningful - which could be as simple about what time to meet where.
- DO NOT CORRECT your learner (unless specifically asked on a specific item). This is because grammar and pronunciation don't get learned through correction, they are learned through a process known as "comprehensible input". Basically, this means that the person first understands what they are being exposed to, and then uses this base to master grammar patterns and accurate pronunciation. The important distinction is that understanding happens first, while grammar and pronunciation are improved over time and practice.
So, if you're not correcting your learner, what are you doing? Simply put, you work to understand what they are saying, even if it's difficult, and respond to that naturally.
Feel free to say "oh, you mean xxx?" in order to clarify your understanding.
Responding this way provides appropriate feedback to the learner, without directly correcting them, or making them feel like they have done something wrong.
- By understanding what your learner is saying you will build their confidence that they can speak English and be understood. On the flip side, continued unsolicited correction of their "mistakes" will destroy their confidence as surely as sinking a knife deep into their heart. Their confidence needs to be supported. That is your job.
- Do not insist on perfection (especially immediate perfection). Because of how the brain is wired, and the way in which language needs to be learned, perfection takes time. Also, perfection grows in stops and starts; it is never a straight line. Insisting on immediate perfection is never helpful.
- Be prepared to talk about the same things many times, each time going a little deeper. The key is to enjoy the interaction, in the same way a parent enjoys talking with a child who is just starting to speak. Be interested in the person, not whether or not they are making "mistakes" in English.
- Feel free to tell stories, and share your own thinking about things, as you would with any good friend. Tell the stories again and again, knowing with confidence that each time you tell the same story, your learner is going to get more of it. If you have ever noticed that children want to hear the same stories over and over, you'll recognize that it's the same process. And, yes, adults need that same process in order to learn a second language effectively.
- Overall, you need to treat your learner as a person of interest, someone that you want to know more and more, because they are interesting. You're not there to teach them English, but to understand and to be understood.
- Use whatever tools you can find to communicate. Draw pictures. Dance and mime if you have to. Find examples of things that you are referring to. Always, always aim for understanding. As a Language Parent, that is the only goal that matters.
- When asked "why" English says things a certain way, avoid that trap. We say things a certain way in English, and not another (equally logical) way simply because that is what has been agreed in the culture. Yes, there may be historical reasons and, if you know what they are you can share that. But, as a rule of thumb, "why" is irrelevant. We say things the way we do just because.
- Finally, you need to accept that, even though it will take a little time, your learner really can learn English, just as you did when you were young. Support and understanding is all they really need. That is your job. The rest is up them.
